I have been photographing weddings for over 10 years and after 500 incredibly diverse celebrations I have really come to enjoy the smaller gatherings. For the record, I don’t have anything against big weddings at all. I have photographed a ton of them and some of my fondest memories took place at some massive weddings. However, they are always stressful. Even when every single little detail goes right, it comes at the cost of a bit of everyone’s sanity. Some vendors absolutely thrive in that but I don’t think I have ever seen a couple enjoy that pace. A year (often longer) of intensive planning, you went over your budget only a month in, and somehow, years of family drama has decided that now is the time to bring it all up.

Your wedding day is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life, but why? Every couple is going to have different answers but if your answer is my answer, this article will help you completely rethink how you plan your wedding.

I think that your wedding day should be one of the happiest experiences in your life because it is very likely that it is the only time that all of those that are the most important to both of you are in the same place at the same time.

Let’s start with the practical reasons for having a small wedding and then we can start building on that with some of the creative opportunities that comes with it. I wanted to create a pros and cons list for this section but honestly, the only con is unavoidable regardless of the size of your wedding. Your guestlist, wether it is 10 people, or 200, is likely going to be a stressful ordeal. You always run the risk of upsetting someone that did not get invited. It is not uncommon for couples to feel guilt on their wedding day when they think of those they could not quite squeeze into the list. That being said, if you only have a dozen or so guests, people are much more likely to not take it personal. I understand the appeal of having as many of your people as possible. Who doesn’t want to feel the love from more people? But having a big wedding may cost you the chance to feel a more intimate connection with your new spouse, your family and friends, and even this place that is the setting for such a grand moment in your life.

Here is a list some pros for having a smaller wedding:

More in depth connections with your guests. Imagine the stark difference between your company Christmas party and sitting by a campfire with a few friends?
Less stress. There is a reliable curve that links guest lists sizes to stress levels. As the guest count goes up, so do the costs and the logistical challenges.
Lower costs. When you are paying to feed 20 people instead of 200, it’s going to cost less. Simple as that.
More personal involvement. You get to make this day more unique and personal. Some might see the extra effort as a con but if you can recognize the amount of effort that you have put into creating this beautiful life with your person, you understand that the work is it’s own reward.
Epic story. Oh man, if you stick with me for a bit here (or see any of my work) you will see what I am talking about. I have a bunch of galleries on my site here from so many unique weddings. I have photographed weddings, elopements, and engagement sessions everywhere from the busy streets of New York City to the remote fishing villages in Alaska. I shot a wedding in the western Arizona desert where all of the guests camped. I even shot a wedding reception on a train as it zoomed through the Verde Canyon.

You don’t need a huge budget for an epic, unique, and personal experience. You just need to start with the right place.

Ok, let’s start talking about the creative stuff. In both, my personal and professional lives, I travel a lot. Through my travels I have developed a keen sense for finding the hidden gems that any place has to offer. While I am not a wedding planner, I am more than happy to be your research assistant. I can help you find boutique hotels, restaurants, cabins/rental properties, remote scenic vistas, and whatever unique places may serve as your wedding venue. The venue is the foundation of your wedding planning and it will dictate what your wedding looks and feels like.

Here are a few things to keep an eye out for when you look for your unique venue:

Narrow down the type of venue you want. Do you see yourself getting married close to home or do you want to travel? (small destination weddings are a lot more feasible than you might think) Do you want to spend the whole weekend there? Look into cabins and boutique hotels. Is the wilderness calling your names? There are a bunch of great cabins and lodges you can have your “reception” at following your backcountry ceremony.
Find locations that fit that vision and start making judgments on the size wedding you could have at each spot. You may have a solid idea of your guestlist already and that could be the determining factor in choosing the right venue. Conversely, you may find a venue that you love, and the size of that venue would determine your maximum guest list for you.
Food and Lodging. Two of the most important things to make sure you have covered is how you will feed your guests and where they will sleep. This is true with more traditional weddings as well but when you go off the beaten path you will be more limited in these options. (Which for some of you, is kind of the whole point)
Vendors. The smaller your wedding is, the smaller your vendor team will be. This is also a fantastic opportunity to think outside the box. You probably won’t want to hire a DJ for your wedding if you only have a dozen guests. You may opt to hire a solo live musician.

Ultimately, there aren’t a ton of guardrails in place to hinder your creative freedom. Your wedding should reflect your passions, values, and taste. If you need any help with trying to make those things work together, I am here to help you explore your options.